Anna Nicole Got Around - Daddy No.4 Comes Forward

 

It seems we have a fourth suitor claiming that HE could be five-month-old Dannielynn Hope Smith's daddy.  

The latest sperminator in the Anna Nicole Smith baby-daddy pool is Alexander Denk, Anna's ex-bodyguard.  Denk first came into Anna's life when he was "cast" as the chef on "The Anna Nicole Show."  Mr. Denk spoke with ExtraTV about his time with Anna.  For the two years he worked for the TrimSpa spokesperson, they carried on a "passionate love affair." 

Denk had this to say about his former love:

“I think it was an instant spark, and I think for her it was the same. She was wonderful. A very sensitive and emotional woman. A very good kisser, I must say.”

Denk also believes Anna's death was not a result of a drug overdose.  He revealed that Anna was being treated for life-threatening seizures with medication and that this underlying condition may have contributed to the star's death.  He said he had spoken to Anna in the last two weeks, and is now "haunted" by their conservation:

“She was sick of being called names. Everyone was bashing on her and calling her names and putting her down and suing her.”

Denk also officially announced his paternal claim to Anna's baby daughter, Dannilynn..  

“There’s always a possibility. She always told me she wanted to have her kids with me.”

Denk has already obtained a lawyer and has stated his intentions to raise the baby if it is determined that he is the father.

Seriously, are there any men left who haven't claimed to have slept with Anna Nicole Smith?  I think we might need to start some sort of International Random DNA testing to get to the bottom of this mystery. 

The next logical step in all of this absurdity is some sort of contest pitting the potential baby-daddies against one another.  Maybe we put them on an island, split them up into teams and devise increasingly difficult challenges wherein they must outsmart one another until everyone is eventually voted off and only one babydaddy remains.  And instead of winning a million dollars, they get a one year supply of Huggies, and 18 years of headaches.  It's genius.

By all accounts, Anna Nicole Smith could have been relegated to a squalid trailer park somewhere. A place where a baby-daddy could be found under every rusted-out jalopy on blocks, but instead of four beelines to Anna's paternity doorstep, we'd see four (or is it now five) dusttrails speeding off into the distant desert, never to be heard from again. 

Behold, the power of money.

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