Britney Spears Dumped
Can Britney Spears' life get any worse? I mean yeah, of course it can, and it will, and I will write about it tomorrow. But for now, let's focus on today's level of suckitude: getting dumped by Isaac Cohen.
Britney's latest paramour, aspiring actor Isaac Cohen, lasted exactly a month. Which, by my calculations, is exactly three weeks and six days longer than I would have expected, and only slightly less more predictable than the outcome of her last relationship.
You would think a person worth $50 million dollars, and supposedly one of the hottest females on the planet (at least at one time) could keep a man around, especially some nobody. But apparently, even nobodies have their standards and it appears Britney Spears was beneath this nobody's standard.
OK Magazine has the inside track on how it all went so, so wrong. While Cohen's L.A. Models agent Brandi Lord confirmed "They are no longer an item,†it was a source close to Isaac who gave the details, “It was a bit much for him...He likes her. They had a good time together. He was doing his best to help her out – but there is only so much one person can do.â€
Yep, Isaac was only one person, and there was only so much he could do. Hell, the Army Corps of Engineers would be stumped by Britney Spears. A team of award-winning scientists trained in altering DNA and brain transplants would fail. The Vatican strike-force exorcism team would be crest-fallen. Even our Beloved Creator of the Cosmos would scratch his head in befuddlement. In fact...oh you get my point, she's hopeless.
Worry not my fellow Britney-ites, good news is around the corner. It seems just when we'd given up hope on our fallen angel, details of her lesbian hot sex life are starting to emerge. HOT DAMN, life is good!!
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