Open Letter To John Mayer - Page 2
But the hair isn't the end...no, it's just the beginning. If you truly want the attitude of "ease and quiet confidence" that 80's hair can bring, you have to have the whole package. Yes, that means everything from the clothing you put on to the cologne you wear. If you stick fabulous 80's hair on top of today's clothes...well, that's a huge fashion don't. So don't.
Let's start with what goes underneath...you have to have the bikini underwear, preferably in stripes. Socks are pretty basic, or even missing altogether if you're going for the Miami Vice look, but you must have the bikini underwear. If you can't handle that (and some men just can't), then tighty-whities are always a good standby.
Get yourself an Izod polo shirt, preferably in a pastel color, and pop that collar. (No, popping the collar didn't originate with your generation.) If you really want to be authentic, wear an argyle vest over the top and/or a knit tie with a square end (tied loosely, of course). If you can't find a shirt with a little alligator, or just don't like the preppie look, go for the tight t-shirt, preferably a concert tee with three-quarter-length jersey sleeves from bands like REO Speedwagon or Journey (or if you really want to be a rebel, Poison or Metallica). A mesh shirt is good IF you have the abs for it, or a muscle shirt if you have the biceps. You can always get a Members Only jacket (no imitations, please...soooo grody to the max) or wear an oversized suit jacket over a t-shirt and roll up the sleeves.
Pants need to be tight enough to tell what religion you are, and definitely acid-washed (absolutely no dark blue, overdyed jeans allowed...like, totally gag me with a spoon). You can get away with black jeans if you wear boots. This was before they added Spandex to jeans, so you'll just have to suffer. But there is an benefit...the cupping that jeans like these give to the tush is to die for and unparallelled in anything today's fashion has to offer. Roll them up a bit (trust me) and show off your high-top Reeboks. If jeans aren't your thing, parachute pants are always a good fall-back option (but they must be tight with lots of zippers).
Continued on the next page
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