Pam Anderson: The Bloom Is Off The Rose
It's like some kind of precognition or something. Just this morning I was thinking about what it means to grow old with dignity, then for some odd reason, I thought of Pam Anderson and I figured "Hey, as long as I do the opposite of Pam, I am gold."
Then I saw these pictures of the not-aging-well pin-up and thought how kind it was of Pam to give all women of the world a little ego boost. We can all point to Pam, regardless of how unattractive we may be individually, and say "Well, at least I look better than that." Remember when Pam Anderson was the epitome of sexy icon? Now she's like a caricature of all things gross and icky.
It's not that she's fat, she's just really out of shape and wearing clothes far too small for her sagging frame. It's not that she's old, it's that she refuses to accept her age and continues to cake on makeup like some kind of demented circus clown, without realizing it merely accentuates her prematurely lined and wrinkled face. Too much hard living will do that. Take note Lindsay Lohan, this is your future if you don't get your shizzle together.
Pam, you have no shame, you never had class, you attention whoreish ways have lost their luster, and your empty shell of a soul continues to hop from one loser guy to another leaving a path of destruction in your wake. You clearly refuse to ever look at yourself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. You are like an accelerated Paris Hilton. And that is NOT a compliment. Used up and without a clue. You are only 41 years old, yet you look twice that age.
I realize it's none of my business how your conduct your deteriorating life, but have some damn dignity. Your children are still young enough to need good role models, but instead they have you and Tommy Lee. We don't typically like to be so cruel here at Glosslip, but honestly, your whole shtick is way beyond it's expiration date. This is public service we are performing.
Now, go home, get some rest, bathe, throw out whatever controlled substances you use to drown the pain and above all, scrub your face. In other words, act your damn age.
You're welcome.
(for more vomit-inducing pics, go to dlisted.com, but bring a barf bag.)
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