Paris Hilton Banned By Real News Outlets
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This is either the greatest news on earth, or the greatest failure of mankind.
According to this story, AP entertainment editor, Jesse Washington, sent an official memo to staffers banning any stories about Paris Hilton from running on the wire service,"barring any major events." The story ran in the New York Observer and Washington is quoted as saying:
"There was a surprising amount of hand-wringing. A lot of people in the newsroom were saying this was tampering with the news." Washington added that one editor's response was: "This is a great idea — can we add North Korea?"
I wonder what they would consider a major Paris Hilton event? Like Paris bursting into flames after her vagina finally exploded from too much friction and herpes outbreaks? Or, if she were consumed by a angry swath of photogs on their way to Anna Nicole's funeral? What if Paris, overcome by philanthropic ectasy, adopts an abandoned orphanage in Africa overflowing with disease and squalor?
I don't see why this is news, some sites have tampered with news stories concerning Paris Hilton since they received their last payment, theatening letter, ego-stroking obligatory correspondence from the heiress.
Worry not Paris Hilton faithfuls, this is one site that will not bow to the pressure of mainstream media. I will not be bullied into suppression. My mind is a steely oasis against conformity and I will carry the mantle of free speach like Ms. Liberty herself. Because I am nothing, if not a slave to my passion for truthful journalism. And porn. I like that too.
From the geniuses at WWTDD.
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