Paris Hilton For President? I Blame Sarah Palin and John McCain!
The above video is NSFE (that's not safe for ears, or eyes for that matter). Look, we know Paris is an talentless attention whore who annoys the crap out of virtually all living matter, but the rule is, if she makes news on CNN, I have to report it.
It's not so much a rule as it is a guideline. Just bear with me.
So Paris, dumbass extraordinare made a video promoting herself for President of the United States. I know, it's preposterous, but I have to admit she makes some salient points. We probably should sign the Kyoto Agreement, cease proliferation of nuclear weapons and let gays OR straights marry. Also, if you put lipstick on a pig, it would be helpful if it matched the pig's skin tone, other than that, I really don't want Paris, a celebutart best known for low-quality skinflicks, encouraging her peers to vote.
Can you imagine what kind of world we'd have if people who looked up to Paris Hilton were let loose to vote? Everything would be all pink, sparkly and blistered with some new form of herpetitis.
The only reason Paris felt inspired to interject herself in this important presidential race is because the McCain/Palin campaign ran those ridiculous "biggest celebrity in the world" anti-Obama ads which compared him to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Damn you John and Sarah, thanks A LOT!
Wait, didn't Paris participate in P. Puffy Von Diddy's "Vote or Die" campaign, only to discover she not only DIDN'T vote, but wasn't even registered to do so.
Maybe we should STD tests before given the right to vote.
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