This Is Just Ten Shades Of Wrong.
You know, I have rather large breasts, and you could not pay me enough money to put them in this....this. Well, you could, but you'd have to buy me dinner first. And we're talking appetizer and dessert, pal. Even then, I'd have to renege on the deal, and do I really have to explain why?
Introducing the Faveo Freedom Bra. According to inventor Joanne Morgan, she had purchased a backless dress, and then could not find any foundation garments to go with it that would contain her larger-sized breasts, so she started thinking (always a bad sign):
"I tried the dress on at home. I didn't want to take it back to the shop and so started to experiment with new ways to invent a bra. I had my Eureka moment after a couple of glasses of wine.
"I wanted to test it straight away so I cut up lots of pieces of clothing to create a prototype. I worked well into the night, but realized pretty quickly that even my own crude attempt was a comfortable and supportive backless, strapless bra."
This mammarian bear trap is only available in the UK and Australia as of now, and it'll put you back $50. But look at the thing! Look at the right one...you can see the breast tissue being squeezed totally out of shape, which is not good for the health of your breasts. It's like a cock ring for breasts. They look like big zits ready to pop. You may as well go to the garage and get a couple of woodworking vices and tighten them down on your boobs. And what is the look we're going for, here...shelves? Wear these to a party and you'll always have somewhere to sit your drink.
I just asked the girls for a vote, and the result is in: 100% of my breasts say that hell would have to freeze over first. In fact, when I showed them this picture, they ran off crying and hid behind the couch. Now my shirts aren't going to hang right the rest of the day.
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