This Avenue is Paved in Gold
I have in front of me the October 2009 issue of Michigan Avenue Magazine. I've been gazing at its glossy, stylized pages in complete and utter wonder for several weeks now, ever since it arrived, unsolicited, in my mailbox. Who, I am trying to figure out, is this magazine for? What is the demographic? It's certainly not me, and it's not any of the Chicagoans that I know.
Ashley Shelton leers up at me from an ad on page 19. I'm not very familiar with Ashley's acting and modeling career, but she wants me to know that she likes being part of the 1% that have a Visa Black Card. She's entitled to "Luxury Gifts, 24-Hour Concierge Service," and an "Exclusive Rewards Program," and it's all part of a "Limited Membership." I, too, can be part of the 1% for only $495/year. Well, thank you, Ashley, I'll keep that in mind.
On page 35 there's an "Art of Living Well" article titled, "Animal House," in which Chef Art Smith "journeys to the African bush and discovers an enchanted lodge and delicious dining." In the article Art asks another chef to wrap up some croissants for Oprah, who he was meeting later that day. I wonder if Art and Oprah would like to go on a safari in my backyard and have some hot dogs? I can wrap them in croissants. We've got some crazy squirrels and chipmunks back there, and every once in a while we see a bunny hiding in the bushes. I won't even charge them much.
Page 41 is an ad for the Horseshoe Casino, and they are kind enough to list upcoming poker tournaments and their buy-in prices, which range from a paltry $235 to a much more exclusive $5,200. It's a good thing I don't know how to play poker, or I'd be tempted. I bet Ashley Shelton plays poker. She can use that card for her buy-in.
I move on to the fashion pages and am delighted to find that I, too, can own a Bulgari 18k pink-gold Serpente watch for $40,800, a Tod's alligator leather "D Bag" for $21,000, or a Paoo Endless love ring for $5,200. I am particularly intrigued by the Paoo ring because Demi Moore and Kelly Preston are Paoo fans, and if it's good enough for them, it must be something I should have. I contemplate a Brioni three-in-one jacket for my husband for $2,995; it's three jackets in one! That's only $998 per jacket!
Continued on the next page
Follow Technorati