Thanks Mom, For Passing the Spatula
'Tis the season... for women my age to speak in hushed tones in dark corners to their very closest friends about how the holiday season is going. Yes, the holidays are rife with high expectations, emotions, and often familial conflict for everyone, but often mothers of young children feel everything particularly keenly because down deep, many of us feel compelled to have a Norman Rockwell holiday season, though few of us have actually seen one with our very own eyes.
There are two common themes of stress I notice, the To Travel or Not to Travel debate and the Who's The Hostess debate. It is amazing how for holidays that are supposed to be about togetherness, these two topics can bring about such divisiveness.
Once my husband and I became a couple, we made a joint decision not to travel for the holidays. He prefers to spend vacation days on actual vacations and to either invite faraway family (they ALL live far away) to visit us for the holidays or to visit them at less stressful times of the year. Having traveled back and forth between divorced parents a lot for the holidays, I had had my fill of holiday travel and knew that I wanted our kids to have holidays at home.
It's not easy, many times, to be a part of the "we don't travel for the holidays" club — it can make you the object of lots of subtle and not-so-subtle pressure as the holidays draw nearer, but when you watch the news and see people stranded at airports on Christmas, you do feel a little bit relieved you are not the one with the overly tired children screaming in the background. Or when you hear about people being stuck in rush hour traffic in Richmond, and you are in your PJs, reading your new book, while sipping your hot chocolate, you can't help but feel a wee bit guilty and giddy at the same time.
As for Who's The Hostess, fellow DC Metro Mom blogger Stacy Kravitz summed up what many mothers of young kids feel in her post. Time and time again I've listened to friends vent that THEY would like to host Thanksgiving or Christmas but their mother or mother-in-law or (insert other female relative here) will not allow them to and they are loathe to defect and host a smaller meal of their own.
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