Contradictions in Parenting
Consistency is key when it comes to raising kids, and I strive to say what I mean and mean what I say. To walk that line of consistency so my kids know what to expect in a given situation. So, why does it seem that more and more often I see myself being a walking contradiction?
The issue that makes it glaringly obvious now is I am constantly trying to teach the boys not to run to me every time something isn't perfect. You can't just *say* don't be a tattle tale, though, because clearly there are instances in which the kids must tell. Especially if someone is hurting them.
I have been working with my oldest on holding his temper. I tell him, if your younger brothers are driving you crazy don't just haul off and smack them. Instead, try to work it out with words. If that doesn't work come and tell Mommy. "But mom, we aren't supposed to tattle." I'm not quite sure what to tell him then, because I do believe they should work most issues out on their own. So instead, in the same breath I tell them not to come running to me with each little thing that bothers them, but to come if you really need my help. The balance, I suppose, lies in teaching them what circumstances are run to Mommy worthy.
The next tattling contradiction is how do I get them to come and get me instead of standing there watching as their youngest brother uses my leather sofa as his artistic canvas, but avoid the constant "Moooooooom, so and so is doing such and such." (Make sure to read that last quote in the long, drawn out, slightly whiny tone in which it is spoken.) If such and such is brother is touching me, breathing on me, generally annoying me by simply being alive I don't want to hear it. If it is damaging my home, involving inappropriate use of art supplies (think cutting one's clothing or the above coloring sofa example) by all means get my attention in any way possible!
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