How Do You Like Them Apples?
Last weekend I was listening to a favorite NPR quiz show and one of the questions involved a recent poll on the cost to women of getting dumped. First of all, why is someone studying this? It’s not bad enough you got dumped, but now someone is counting the pennies post dumpage? Talk about adding insult to injury! Yes, that knowledge would definitely make me feel OH so much better. I can hear the conversation around the table with my pals now…“Couldn’t you just agree to an open relationship? It could be cheaper.”
According to the poll, it costs woman on average about $850 after dump. How do you like them apples? Wondering where exactly the dough goes? Why to a makeover of course. Naturally the root cause of the dumping is you were made-under, so get that gold card ready, Miss dumpy dump-ee. Pardon me, but WHAT?! (Insert preferred expletive here.) Seriously, we need to crack open the wallet to coif, buff, polish and re-spackle?? And that will, what, make us undumpable the next time? Excuse me, but what about HIM? He had nothing to do with it? REALLY??? Does he also go out and get his nose hairs clipped and a mani pedi? Not likely. (Unless the dump-ee is a gay man, in which case a dear mister sister tells me the dump deposit would likely double.)
Ah well, I suppose you’ve earned the fee if you truly believe that being dumped is really all your fault and sprucing up the chassis is going to prevent it from happening again. Yes, I’ve been there too, thinking that if I were somehow more outwardly appealing I’d have been more, well, appealing. There’s no denying appearance counts. Just ask any middle-aged gal who’s sat at a bar next to 25-year-olds with perky parts undisturbed by the effects of gravity. Boys tend to go for the shiny new toy first, (and so do we on occasion.) Yet I truly believe the only reason for anyone to shell out precious pennies for a “makeover” should be to make YOU feel good. Feeling good about you is an instant confidence injection and confidence is attractive to everyone, regardless of outward trims and trappings.
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