Saying No to Mommy Peer Pressure
One of the best things about becoming a mother was joining the community of other supportive moms. People from all walks of life who just "got" me. They understood the demands on my schedule and why I was always running late (they were too!). They laughed at how I had mapped out all drive-thru coffee, donut and fast food joints within a ten mile radius of my home so I could stop without having to wake a finally sleeping baby or not have to get everyone out of the car in the rain when we're already cranky and tired of running errands (because they had too!). But that support cuts both ways. With each understanding, the flip side is a judgement. An offer to help, "Ooh, would you like me to warm a bottle for you?" can also mean "Uhm, your baby's been crying the whole time we've been here, why haven't you done something about it?" or "Don't you know what your own baby's cries mean?"
I consider myself an independent woman; I can hold my own. But it still hurts when others don't agree with how you view is the best way to raise your child. I've been accused of overscheduling my son (Uhm yeah, he attended a morning and an afternoon preschool last year.), and I've questioned it along the way as a result. With that said, it's easy to become a product of your surroundings when you're doing something for the first time. I was surrounded by mothers last spring and early summer whose philosophy on how kids should spend their summers differed from mine. They waxed poetically about lazy summer days spent outdoors playing and exploring, about how overplanning with activities and camps stifled their kids and didn't allow for creating wonderful childhood memories. It sounded lovely.
I have great memories of my summers growing up, but I forgot in the midst of those discussions with other mothers, that the bike rides were usually on my way to tennis lessons, those fun pool parties or jumps off the dock were often following dance class, that those special trips for ice cream came mostly after little league games. I have those same wonderful memories, but I didn't have to devote entire days to doing nothing, it happened naturally in between a moderate amount of activity that provided a rhythm, like scheduled "bookends" to my day.
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