It's Back to School Night, Not Sophie's Choice
I remember clearly my first thought when I found out I was pregnant for the second time. I already had two year old twins and all I could think was how is there ever going to be enough of me for three children. But low and behold, I have managed with three children just fine for the past four years. Some days there clearly isn't enough of me to go around and other days I even manage to eek out a little time and energy to do something for myself.
I've learned to divide my heart into three pieces, but what often trips me up is trying to divide it into three equal pieces. Ever since I was a little kid, I've been obsessed with fairness. I made sure each one of my stuffed animals had a turn right next to me in my bed and drove my mom nuts asking her to count the number of noodles I had on my plate to make sure my sister didn't have more.
I try my best to make sure everyone has the same amount of milk in their glass. I carefully count out the chicken nuggets to make sure each child has the same number. We take turns picking the music we listen to in the car and I even made a chart to keep track of whose turn it is to sit in the most favored car seat. But let's face it, life is not always fair and I just can't make sure they all get the same amount of hugs per day and chocolate chips in their cookies.
When my twins started kindergarten I went to great pains to make sure I volunteered the same amount of time in each one's classroom. I was assigned to Monday afternoon for one of them and there are several Monday holiday's in a school year. They noticed if I made it to one classroom that week and not the other, and I felt guilty. I try to explain to them that things will not always be tit for tat. For the most part it all works out and I probably feel more guilt over dividing my time up than is necessary.
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