Single Parent Dating is Tougher than a High School Crush
Remember back in high school when dating was such a
mystery? You never really knew who liked who, or who you could get away with
liking without being totally embarrassed for admitting it.
As a father of a teen daughter who is dating, I have tons of wisdom and advice to give my girl as she navigates the world of high school crushes.
But as a single dad on the dating scene, I sort of wish I was in high school again. (A male version of Peggy Sue Got Married.) High school crushes were downright easy to deal with compared to single parent courtship and romance.
Everyone has their list of awkward high school dating moments. So let's focus on what high school does right, and where dating for adults - especially divorced parents - falls short.
- In high school, you have a posse of friends to hide within. Your posse can float out ideas of who might want to go see a movie with whom. Or better yet - you can all go out as one big group, and stick tepid toes in the dating water along the way.
- Single parents have a posse of friends who are all married, and claim to not know one single person on the face of the earth! First date planning is hit or miss, especially in modern dating where some people are more comfortable hanging out than going on a formal date.
- In high school, you attend multiple classes every single day. You have plenty of built-in opportunities to flirt throughout the day, take assessment of what went wrong and right, and get back to flirting tomorrow.
- Single parent dating has real-life obligations (like raising a child by yourself) that might prevent you from having even one single moment to flirt. For one single mom dating me a while back, we'd go a month or more between dates, just due to custody schedules not lining up.
- In high school, after you break up, you can ignore the person, or just be friends. But you probably don't have to deal with them on any issue that really matters.
- Single parents need coparenting tips to deal with an ex. And it matters - the kids come first!
- In high school, you can pass notes to someone you're interested in.
- Single parents can't pass notes. I guess they can Facebook poke, but come on - that's not real life. Online dating doesn't work (don't even get me started.)
- In high school, you can dine at In-n-Out on burgers, fries, and malts, and have a super cool, ultra fun time.
- Single parents who want to share a meal on a date either pony up for a decent restaurant, or learn how to cook. Not a bad idea, learning to cook. Though I'm not sure knowing how long do you boil beets or being aware of Swiss chard recipes will impress any date. Will my worlds best hamburger recipe do in a pinch? Didn't think so. (Then again, I am old enough to make a good margarita recipe. Cocktails anyone?)
- In high school, you have built-in events where you can go on dates. Dances, sports events, that break between third and fourth period class.
- Single parents have city life, I suppose. But it's not like your posse of friends will be there too. There's a lot of pressure to make the date perfect, rather than just enjoy some rah-rah school spirit together.
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