Rub a Dub Flub
How to turn your kitchen into Niagra Falls:
Turn on tub faucet like you always do. Add Epsom salts to calm and alkalize your body.
Add Vitamin C because you read somewhere it neutralizes chlorine.
Wait 45 minutes for your 110 gallon tub to fill.
Do other stuff, like cleaning the kitchen and answering email.Run to the kitchen in a panic because you hear whooshing sounds.
Scream, "Oh my God!" when you see water gushing out of the ceiling lights that sit under the upstairs master tub.Place giant pots underneath all flows.
Run upstairs to turn off the water. Notice that an overflowing 110 gallon tub looks like a thick sheet
of water flowing onto the bathroom floor, which is already a few inches
deep with water. Yes, a few inches deep, no hyperbole. Swear.
Try not to look at husband who does not have a friendly expression
as the water laps his ankles and who is holding bath towels to start
absorbing the mess.Cringe when your husband says, sternly, "This is going to be $100K of damage to the house."
Yell back at him, "That's it. I'm getting the effing sauna my doctor told me to get. Then, I won't need to take the hot baths to sweat five times a week. I
don't care how much it costs or where we'll put it, but I know it will
cost less than overflowing the bathtub!"Finally realize that the tub filled three times as fast because you turned on the cold
water that takes 15 minutes to fill the tub, not the hot water which
takes 45 minutes. Say "F*ck" under your breath as many times as
possible because the kids are around.
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